As mentioned in the Forward of Refiner’s Fire this is the story of God’s sovereignty in the life of a sojourner. It is the story of how the Triune God has had me on a path of refining for many years. (I’m a slow learner.) He has not taken me off of that path. Today I believe that the Triune God is directing me to share what He is teaching me in the present moment. To be honest, a piece of this directing and nudging is the fact that life’s routines have been turned upside down; making it impossible to keep up with the writing of the Blog posts. Thus these present day posts may become routine.

 As I wrote in my journal last week I felt like the Lord was saying, “put this into the Blog.” I prayed for several days about it and here I am.

 Warning! These stick in “Journal Posts” won’t be edited.

 God of All Comfort Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus
Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in
all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in
any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings,
so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.
(2 Corinthians 1:3-5 ESV)

I am at a point of feeling overwhelmed as Joe’s (my husband) health (Parkinson’s or Multiple System Atrophy) is continually changing. He has been falling about twice a week for the last month. I’ve had to call the paramedics twice. He is becoming more and more confused. He can have very clear times but all of a sudden can’t find the bathroom in our tiny two room apartment.

 The journal entry below is my pondering of my sinful self in being so upset over what the day would hold – Joe thought he had broken a rib in his latest fall so off to ER.

I was also feeling stressed because I didn’t know what to do about Joe’s pain and wasn’t trusting God to show me. Even though a few days before I was similarly overwhelmed not knowing what to do. I cried out to the Triune God for help and the next day I received a telephone call from the head nurse in the Parkinson’s Center at Emory. She was calling another patient but mistakenly called my number which was just below the one she meant to call. It gave me the opportunity to ask her all the questions I had and she lovingly told me what to do.  What a God Sighting that was!

WHY DON’T I TRUST GOD WHEN HE PROVES HIMSELF OVER AND OVER?

It had also been a day I had planned to write.  So I was stewing about AGAIN not having a Blog Post to post.

I should be so thankful and shouting praises off the roof top – for the past few months the raging body of terror has calmed down – still I’m not satisfied with all God is doing. What an ingrate I am.

God is taking me deeper and deeper in understanding the importance of my surrender to His sovereignty. In doing so I have to let go of what I so strongly cling to – that is that I know what is best for me. OH WHAT SIN!

Assignment 30

Grab a cup of coffee … and imagine we are chatting.

The Following is from my journal last week as I wrestled with God’s plan for my day. As I poured out my heart to Almighty God the following just flowed onto the paper.

Father, Son and Holy Spirit You are Lord and King. You are all knowing and all powerful. You are Sovereign – You have a plan and a purpose in everything You grant to happen (Philippians 1:21-30) You are aware of every detail of my life.

You know my heart (Jeremiah 17:9&10) better than I know my heart. You know my hidden heart (Psalm 51: 6) that I hide not only from others but from myself.

Father please hold me close to You because I cannot do anything of eternal worth (John 15:5) except that I surrender to You and allow You to work in my inner being.

A huge part of Your working within me is Your “Refining Fire” (Zechariah 13:9)

A fire that does not destroy but cleanses and heals.

In the midst of this fire there is fear, exhaustion, pain –

“Each time His purging cleanses deeper
I’m not sure that I’ll survive.
Yet the strength in growing weaker keeps my hungry soul alive.”
(Steve Green “Refiners Fire)

Father this walk continues to be so difficult – You have continually proven Yourself faithful – why can’t I rest in You? Why do I continually long for what I want – a life of ease?

I KNOW this “fire” has a purpose for my best – why do I continually fight against You? Why don’t I have the contentment the Apostle Paul had? (Philippians 4:11) Oh to be content in whatever situation I am in.

Forgive me for my lack of trust – forgive me for not just resting in You Lord.

In Jesus’ Name Amen

As you struggle with the path the Triune God has you on beg Him to let you feel His presence (that is really a biggie  Joshua 1:9).  Beg Him to give you God sightings so you KNOW He is with you. What is a God Sighting – read here   Read and pray through the scripture in the Journal Entry above. Beg the Lord to take you to a deeper place with Him – don’t be afraid to scream those requests.

Jesus I beg you to use this post today to minister to at least one person.

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