New to Refiner’s Fire? I encourage you to read the FORWARD.
The other day I was hit by a horrid OUTCOME.
It wasn’t at all what I expected.
I felt nauseous; my body tensed up; I didn’t know where to go to escape the feelings and thoughts flooding my mind.
Once again, I felt like a failure.
Suddenly, Proverbs 2 screamed at me.
“yes, if you call out for insight
and raise your voice for understanding,
if you seek it like silver
and search for it as for hidden treasures,
then you will understand the fear of the LORD
and find the knowledge of God. ”
Proverbs 2:3–5 (ESV)
So I raised my voice and called out to the Triune God. I begged him. I pleaded with Him.
“Please, please give me understanding – why this OUTCOME?
Why now?
Have I been wrong?
How do you want me to handle this?”
“Father, I call out to You for insight and understanding;
what is the truth in this?
Is it my pride? Is it evilness in my secret heart?
Why has this OUTCOME so upset me?”
A sudden response to my cry flooded my mind,
“Knowledge brings much sorrow.” Ecclesiastes 1:18
What does that have to do with anything?, I wondered
I had an urgency to know the context of that scripture. I grabbed my Bible opening it to Ecclesiastes; it opened up to chapter 5. My eye went to the top of the page where I had written my muddled notes from Dr. Tim Mackie’s teaching on Ecclesiastes …
“Releasing control of one’s life brings one to joy, NOT the
SEDUCTION OF OUTCOMES.
Always expecting the outcome I want leads
to feelings of failure”
My body was shaking; I felt like the Almighty God, Creator of the Universe was walking me through a personal teaching – just He and I. I forgot what I was looking for and looked at the heading for Chapter 5 “The Vanity of Wealth and Honor.”
Ecclesiastes 5:16–17
“16] This also is a grievous evil:
just as he came, so shall he go,
and what gain is there to him who toils for the wind?
[17] Moreover, all his days he eats in darkness
in much vexation and sickness and anger.” (ESV)
I cried out again:
“Father, are You saying that I’m clinging to
my desired outcomes like the
wealthy cling to their things or
others cling to their power?”
Another thought entered my mind. “I haven’t read My Utmost for His Highest for several days.” I opened the devotional to July 26th and read.
“We resent what Jesus Christ reveals.
Either Jesus Christ is the supreme Authority on the human heart,
or He is not worth paying any attention to.
Am I prepared to trust His penetration,
or do I prefer to trust my innocent ignorance?”
Wow! God’s Sovereignty – if I had read this on the “correct” day, it wouldn’t have had near the impact it did on this day.
“Father, You have shown me so much; what do you want me to do with it?”
“When Jesus brings a thing home by His word, don’t shirk it!”
July 27, My Utmost For His Highest.
My mind swirled with the insight, the truth, of what my Father had just laid before me.
STOP! concentrating on earthly outcomes.
BUT DO! concentrate on eternal outcomes.
Knowing he is on a walk to death, Joe (husband) suggested we read together Heaven by Randy Alcorn. With each page, comes a 
growing expectation of what is to come. That glorious eternity where there will be continuous new endeavors set before us. In the midst of each new endeavor we will be filled with joy, peace, excitement, love like we’ve never imagined – oh yes, this is the outcome on which I will concentrate.
I turned the page of My Utmost For His Highest to July 28th, “if we realize that obedience is the end, then each moment as it comes is precious.”
The God of all gods, the Lord over all lords had heard my cry and responded giving me insight, understanding and a desire to obey Him moment by moment, to stop expecting things He never promised.
What freedom is ours if we let go of earthly outcomes we dream of, we expect. (Marriage, jobs, reputation, children, wealth, health, senior years – what would you add to the list?)
WHAT DO YOU SEE IN YOUR CLOUDS? 
“In the Bible, clouds are always connected with God. Clouds are those sorrows or sufferings or providences, within or without our personal lives, which seem to dispute the rule of God. It is by those very clouds that the Spirit of God is teaching us how to walk by faith.”
His Utmost for My Highest, July 29th Oswald Chambers
The links below to Tim Mackie’s teaching on Ecclesiastes will challenge you and give you a renewed desire to trust God moment by moment as you concentrate on the outcome of eternity.
Ecclesiastes part 3: The Limits of Labor
Below are links to His Utmost For My Highest from which I have quoted before and which the Sovereign God has used to direct me and teach me.
July 26 THE ACCOUNT WITH PURITY
Out of the heart proceed… — Matthew 15:18-20
July 27 THE WAY TO KNOW
If any man will do His will, he shall know of the doctrine.… — John 7:17
July 28 AFTER OBEDIENCE – WHAT?
And straightway, He constrained His disciples to get into the ship and to go to the other side.… — Mark 6:45-52
The song below has ministered to me this past week as my body has raged and my Father took from me an outcome I had so longed to see happen. Listen closely to the words – they are powerful.
Warrior I, Wanda, add to the title My Battle Cry – Jesus, Jesus, Jesus
Revelation 19:11–15 a reminder of the eternal outcome to which we have to look forward.
The Rider on a White Horse
[11] Then I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse! The one sitting on it is called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he judges and makes war. [12] His eyes are like a flame of fire, and on his head are many diadems, and he has a name written that no one knows but himself. [13] He is clothed in a robe dipped in(1) blood, and the name by which he is called is The Word of God. [14] And the armies of heaven, arrayed in fine linen, white and pure, were following him on white horses. [15] From his mouth comes a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations, and he will rule(2) them with a rod of iron. He will tread the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God the Almighty. (ESV)
Next Page: SATISFACTION – Where Do I Get It?
Thank you, this really hits home in so many ways. I have spent most of my life looking for an outcome that almost never was what I wanted or expected. I too felt like a failure with each disappointment, and in so many ways.
I just finished reading Ecclesiastes last week. I’m going to go back through it again with the teaching in the links you provided. Thank you so much for including them.
To God be the glory. Thanks Rebecca for the blessing of encouragement
Thank you for sharing my dear sister. I have been walking in obedience regarding food and fully expected to have lost weight but actually gained a tiny bit even though I cut down portions and am eating healthy. I realized I was discouraged because I did not see the results I wanted but it is not about loosing weight, in the end it is just about obedience. Am I honoring Father because I love Him or because I want something out of It? Is my relationship with Him not enough? Is His grace forgiveness and mercy not more than enough? Reality check to say the least.
Amen – I’ve been going through something similar.